Today marks 11 months since Parker passed away. The 17th of every month constantly looms over my head…as well as the 12th (diagnosed). My anxiety has already began to rise as I think of November. I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving at all. Which is sad, because it is a great time for family to gather. But, last Thanksgiving ALL of our family was together (which is very unusual) because of Parker’s services. There aren’t many things that I remember about that long week – but I can visualize our family and some friends sitting on outside having Thanksgiving. We’ve been talking about getting away the weekend of the year mark and going camping. I think that would be a great tradition for us to start. I know we can’t “escape” Thanksgiving – but at least we can work on creating some new, happy traditions and memories around that time.

Payton and I took some flowers to Parker’s Place yesterday. I almost feel like it has become a formality for me…or maybe a task. I go through the motions without paying attention to why I’m really there. If my mind wanders as to my purpose I would loose it. I think about how his little body is behind that wall. I know it’s just his body – but it’s his body! I’m putting stupid flowers at my 2 year old’s grave! Then my mind wanders and thinks that there should be a service that will send flowers or items to your house (there’s a catalog that you order from)…that way when we go to to the store to buy the things we don’t get comments like “that’s beautiful” or “someone’s going to love that balloon”. The service will allow us to have the variety and choice to pick out our items, it’s delivered to our door, then we take it to the site.

Today was Paige’s appointment with the GI doctor. Not only a GI doctor, but at Nemours, in the Hem/Onc unit. Can we say “fun”? Thankfully it was a new building that I had never been in. It was so nice to receive the hugs from the nurses and the doctor was extremely pleasant. Really made me feel comfortable and even got the “big elephant” out of the room. He thinks we should spare Paige (and me) scopes and such until we go through less-invasive steps first. He’s thinking it is toddler diarrhea (which they usually outgrow by the age of 4 – oh my!). We are going to try a treatment at home and see how that goes. When she had labs done her oxygen level and blood sugar were both low but he thinks it’s just because the specimen may have sat a little to long. He’s keeping it in the back of his mind though in case other remedies aren’t working.

Let’s see, what else is going on…we are still unpacking…having a yard sale tomorrow..I’m keeping busy with my product review site (www.preciouspeas.blogspot.com)…oh!…Tomorrow Parker’s Pals is serving their first meal at the Ronald McDonald House. I’m so excited for this! We are going to try to do this 4 times a year.

I am so excited to announce we have officially moved! Our boxes are all in the house/garage; utilities are switched over (finally – I was going through internet withdraws); change of address slip in. Yeah!! We are still trying to find the perfect place for everything – which I know will take time. Payton and Paige have been doing great with sharing their room and I am sooo ready to set up my office/craft room.
Thanks for all of your prayers and support for us during this transition.

I just returned home from a MOPS Convention in Texas. It was a great time, with great friends. I can actually say I came home with some changes….not impress my fears upon my children (sharks, snakes, etc); that I don’t have to do things just because I think it’s expected of me or will make me “look good” (homeroom mom); we need to, as a family, determine what our battle cry is and how we can accomplish it (may not make sense to you – sorry .