I have been meaning to write this post for quite some time now, but just never had the energy or patience to sit down and do it.

The one year of Parker’s death was nearly as difficult as I had imagined. Maybe it is because everyday is hard. Or maybe it is because of my wonderful friends. Lisa stayed with me most of the day, brought me my favorite double doozie cookie and we went out to lunch with the hubbies. Melody visited and brought me a lovely orchid. I had many phone calls, emails and cards from my sweet friends. My biggest gift was when Mequel brought me the greatest gifts from both of the DeLand MOPS groups. It was a tiny Magnolia Tree from the Magnolia Co with an engraved plaque that said In Memory of Parker Underwood, Love your MOPS friends. I thought that was the gift and was so thankful! Then I read the card…they are also getting a statue for the memory garden at the church we attend and where MOPS is held AND my dear friend Mary and her family at the Magnolia Co is donating a Magnolia Tree and the group has reserved a spot at Sunflower Park (in downtown DeLand) to have a memorial set up. I was blown away! Thank you, thank you my friends! Or maybe it was just God’s Grace!

3 days later Paige turned 19 months. This day which more difficult because this was the age that Parker was diagnosed with leukemia. If that wasn’t hard enough…I’ve spent the last 3 days at doctors appointments with Paige. She has had a fever for a week and definitely has been out of character. First thought was UTI, then enlarged kidneys, then pneumonia. Sunday night we went to an After Hours office where they TRIED to catheterize her to get a urine sample. After 2 1/2 hours there we were told to go home with no answers. Yesterday we went to our pediatric office where they put a bag on Paige…of course she didn’t pee in the hour we were there. The nurse could tell she couldn’t catheterize her so the doctor said they had to do a pubic tap. This is just like a spinal tap, but they insert the needle in the pubic area. Thankfully our doctor was able to use a small needle and got a good sample. Sample was clean though – no infection. Then they tested her for the flu – which is a swab shoved up the nose (more painful then the needle – so says her scream). Negative. Then she received 2 shots in either thigh of antibiotic. This morning we went again for a follow-up. Her last fever was at 2am – and thankfully no more today. At the time of our visit the urine lab results weren’t in. We were then sent to radiology for an ultrasound of her kidneys and bladder and a chest x-ray.

She screamed for both. While I was in the waiting room awaiting the results and lady asked how old she was – I told her – and she told me how it reminded her of her child at this age going for tests. I told her I was sorry as I started to cry…she thought I meant just because I was crying in front of her…then I told her about Parker. How all of this reminded me of him. She was very sympathetic. Then the manager came in (no clue what we were talking about) and brought us drinks and snacks (which did wonders for Paige in calming her down). She continued to offer things, books, disney channel…they were so nice there. Again, thankfully, all results were negative. She is now on an oral antibiotic and we’ll see what happens next. Oh! So the hardest part! Yesterday when we were leaving the exam room after all her trauma – the nurses and doctors tell her bye and she blows them a kiss!! She did it again today! How did I get the sweetest children?!?!?!

Christmas was tough this year – especially at our house. I had all of our stockings up including Parker’s. I made a separate little ornament tree with his special ones on it (I get the kids one of every year). I also found some little Thomas the Train toys that I had gotten him after Christmas in 06 – to give to him in 07 in my wrapping bin. Just little memories here and there.

This will be my last post in this site. I will continue to update Parker’s Pals info on www.parkerspals.org and I will soon have a new site which I will “unveil” soon (I’ll post it here and on Parker’s Pals).

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!